


The Worst Timing In Paris

by engineerwenlock



Series: The Worst Father-In-Law in Paris -verse [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Normalize breastfeeding, Pregnancy, Pregnant Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Press and Tabloids, character growth for chloe, don't worry though i dont go into detail about the labor, i also mention that childbirth is painful, i do say the word contractions but thats about it, if thats news to you i'm sorry, pregnancy discomfort, trying not to write a Hollywood pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-29 03:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14464044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineerwenlock/pseuds/engineerwenlock
Summary: When a pregnant Marinette goes into labor on the worst possible day, it's up to Alya to keep Ladybug's secret identity hidden. Characters are in their late 20's, established Adrienette.





	1. Press Conference

Ladybug was stuck at a press conference panel with the rest of the team and she really had to pee. Little Emma was practically jumping on her bladder. Other than the heartburn, and the inability to be comfortable like ever, and the swollen ankles, oh and the fact that she could no longer see her feet, this was probably the worst part of pregnancy.

"As we've told you before," she continued, crossing her legs, "Hawkmoth is not gone for good; he's just agreed to give us a few months' hiatus."

"Agreed?" asked a reporter, "Did you make a deal with Hawkmoth?"

"Look," said Chat, "Given the choice between making a small deal with a supervillain and risking the safety of her unborn child, Ladybug chose the lesser of two weevils."

"Really Chat?" Ladybug asked, rolling her eyes. He'd been making insect puns all week and it was getting old.

"What can I say, I made it up on the fly," he remarked, casually leaning back on his chair with his hands supporting the back of his head.

"Still, how can we be sure this deal isn't dangerous for the city?"

Before Ladybug could say anything in her defense, Rena Rouge stood up, seething, "You mean how can you trust  _Ladybug_  who has been defending the city for over a decade? You can't be serious!"

"But if we don't know what the deal was, how can we be sure?"

"Because the deal was of rather personal nature and it's none of your dang business!" she sat down

"Speaking of personal," added the reporter, "Ladybug, there's a theory floating around that your civilian identity is the wife of former Gabriel model, Adrien Agreste. Can you address those rumors?"

Chat fell backwards in his chair.

Ladybug wasn't doing much better. "I well - I," she stuttered.

Luckily, Queen Bee came to her rescue. "There are so many things wrong with that statement, I should have you thrown out of the room. One, you should know better than to ask us personal questions. Two, while I don't actually like Marinette as a person, I'm not going to stand by and let you reduce one of my top five favorite designers in the city to 'the wife of a former model.'" She stood up and pounded her fist on the table.

Meanwhile, Chat had extracted himself from the collapsed folding chair. He set up the chair again and assumed an 'I meant to do that' expression.

Queen Bee continued, "This is 2028 and you're talking like it's the 1950's. I literally bought every piece from Marinette Dupain-Cheng's fall line last year because it's all amazing and I for one won't let you get away with calling her Adrien's wife as if she's just an accessory. Security, take him away."

"I still think Ladybug is Marinette," shouted the reporter as he was being hauled out of the room.

Several other reporters began shouting questions at the same time. This press conference was getting out of hand and Ladybug was getting worried about her secret identity. "Lucky charm," she whispered under the table, and ended up with a bottle of water. She thought for a moment before dumping the entire bottle onto her lap. Ladybug stood up and everyone fell silent. "My water just broke. I'm in labor. This panel is over. Rena, Queenie, could you help me out? Carapace, grab Chat and follow us before he passes out."


	2. My Baby is Having a Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette actually goes into labor in this chapter. There are no gory details, but if that makes you uncomfortable, skip to the end after like the fourth paragraph down. There's an author's note at the end with the plot relevant details.

"So you're not actually having the baby today," Adrien asked for the twelfth time. They were walking home from the press conference; the team having parted ways after Ladybug quickly explained her trick and then speed waddled to the bathroom. He was always impressed by his wife's quick thinking, but this one was particularly creative.

"No, and I'm sorry I scared you like that," Marinette apologized again.

"It's okay. I understand. It'll all be worth it when an obviously still pregnant Marinette shows up for work tomorrow, the day after Ladybug's water broke in the middle of a press conference. All in all a brilliant plan, my Lady." He kissed her to emphasize his point.

"Mmmm, when we get home I can think of a great way to make it up to you."

Later that night, Adrien was fast asleep when Marinette nudged him. "Honey," she said, "I think I'm in labor."

"Mkay," he replied. Let's go to the-" Then he rolled over and fell back asleep.

He was awakened again by a sharp jab in his ribcage. "Ow!"

"Get up. I'm in labor. The contractions are less than five minutes apart and they really hurt!"

"What time is it?"

"Four a.m. I've been up walking around for two hours, but I want to go to the hospital soon because the contractions are really starting to hurt."

"But- but I'm not wearing pants," he sputtered, still only half awake.

"You're wearing pajama pants," Marinette chuckled.

He looked down. "Oh. You're right. Okay. We can do this."

"Ow ow ow ow ow!" She started pacing around the room and frantically waving her arms. "Oh this is a bad one!"

"It's okay," Adrien was now awake enough to help her deal with the pain. He grabbed her by the shoulders, sat her down on the bed and said, "Just breathe with me like they taught us."

When the contraction was over, Adrien told her, "Let's go to the hospital. I'll call the lim-"

"No! I don't want your father to know until after I've already had the baby."

"Oh right. I'll call a cab." He ran toward the kitchen, tripping over his own feet in the process.

"Adrien, what are you doing? Your phone is on the nightstand."

"Oh yeah." He made the quick phone call ("You need to send someone right away because my baby is having a wife,") grabbed the hospital bag, and helped Marinette down the stairs to wait in the lobby of their apartment building for the taxi.

Marinette looked over at her husband, "Adrien -"

"Yes Princess?"

"I'm worried."

"It's going to be okay. Modern medicine is amazing, and you're healthy and low risk and you can change your mind and get an epidural if -"

"No, remember the press conference earlier?"

"Oh."

"Yeah. If I don't show up at work tomorrow, I'm not going to be able to hide my identity anymore. Because Ladybug went into labor in front of four dozen reporters less than twelve hours ago, and now here I am in labor. I had a plan - if Ladybug didn't have her baby the same day as me, we couldn't be the same person and now- ow ow ow!"

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay. Just breathe." He stroked her hair soothingly and helped her breathe through the pain until the contraction was over. Then he said, "We'll figure it out. For now, let's just worry about getting this baby here, alright?"

Author's Note: For those who skipped: Marinette actually went into labor at in the middle of the night after the press conference, ruining her brilliant plan to have Marinette and Ladybug appear to have their babies on different days.


	3. Alya, I'm Ladybug

The day following the press conference was filled with rampant fan speculation on all fronts. How was Ladybug doing? Had she had the baby yet? Would it be a boy or a girl? What about the possible secret identity leak. Not to mention all the buzz about Queen Bee being amazing. Personal disagreements aside, Alya had to agree there. Queenie was the hero of that press conference. All in all, a big day for the Ladyblog.

As it turned out, it was a big day for Alya personally as well. More accurately, it was a big day for her friends. At 4:57 pm,, Alya got a mass text from Adrien, "Mademoiselle Emma Agreste has finally decided to make her debut today. 46 cm, 3.8 kg. We're pretty sure all three of her hairs are blonde. Mom and baby are healthy, but tired. Visitors are welcome the day after tomorrow, when we get home from the hospital." It came with a picture. Emma was very red and (as the text suggested) practically bald, but her head was a good shape and she had enormous blue eyes. All-in-all, not too bad for a newborn.

Alya texted back, "Awww she's so precious! Congratulations! I can't wait to meet her."

At 7:13 pm, she received a text from Marinette that read, "Help! Gabriel won't go away. The nurses made him leave our room, but he's still in the waiting room. Last I heard he was trying to bribe his way back in."

As Alya was puzzling over what to do about that problem, she got another text from Marinette: "Nevermind. Adrien texted Chloe about 20 minutes ago and she has somehow managed to get him to leave with her."

"Okay," Alya replied. "Better her than me lol."

A few minutes later, she got another text from Marinette, "Oh no. She took him shopping! We're going to have to get a second apartment just for all the useless crap he buys the baby."

'Ugh,' thought Alya, 'It was almost better back when Marinette had to team up with Nathalie to trick Gabriel into showing up to his own son's wedding. He's so overbearing now. I hope grandparenthood doesn't make my parents crazy some day. If I didn't know about Hawkmoth and Ladybug, I'd definitely say Gabriel Agreste was the worst father-in-law in Paris.'

The next morning, Alya got a call from Marinette. "Alya," she said, "I need a huge favor. Could you come to the hospital?"

"Sure. Hah! I get to meet the baby early! What's the favor?"

"I'll explain when you get here, but could you bring your camera?"

"Sure. The DSLR?"

"No, actually the video camera you use for the Ladyblog."

"Um, okay. Sure."

"Thank you thank you thank you! See you soon."

When Alya arrived at the hospital, Emma was sleeping in the hospital bassinet, and Alya wasn't about to pick up a sleeping baby, but it was still nice to see her in person and gush over her little fingers and tiny nose.

"So," asked Marinette, timidly, "You know how Ladybug's water broke during that press conference a couple of days ago?"

"Yeah that was wild! I'm so bummed I missed it." Alya felt like she finally had the making-up-excuses routine down. "I'm glad my intern was there or I would have had to put secondary footage on the Ladyblog."

Marinette gave her a funny look, then said, "Alya, I'm Ladybug."

"Very funny."

"Tiki, spots on!"

And there was her friend, sitting in a hospital bed the morning after she'd had a baby, wearing Ladybug's signature red mask and suit.

Alya was rendered more-or-less incapable of coherent thought for about five minutes. She stuttered and asked half formed questions and paced around the room. "Oh my - holy crap - so you're - I don't even -" Then she fell silent for awhile. "Okay," she finally said, slowly, "so you must have a really good reason for telling me this now."

"Yeah," said Marinette (and it was just Marinette now - she'd released the transformation sometime during Alya's freak out.) "I need your help. I'm worried about my secret getting out, and I don't need to explain to you how much that will put all of us on the team - and our families - in danger."

"Why would the secret - oh the press conference and you had your baby too. But you told me that was a bottle of water."

"It was."

"But then -"

"I went into labor for real that night. I was betrayed by my own uterus," said Marinette dramatically.

Alya chuckled.

"Still," Marinette went on, "I can't complain too much. Emma's here now and she's healthy and so perfect and the labor went- about as well as fourteen hours of labor could be expected to go."

Sidetracking a little, Alya mused, "Remember when we were fourteen and you could barely talk to Adrien because you liked him so much? Well here you are, Mrs. Agreste, and now you guys have a baby. Kinda surreal."

"Oh in so many ways. It's funny, I used to imagine this stage as the fairytale ending, but it's really just the beginning, and I'm so much happier than I ever thought I could be. But in different ways. Like, I didn't realize how much work a good relationship takes. But we do all the difficult stuff together now. Alya, he was so supportive yesterday. And when he held Emma for the first time - It was -" A couple of tears glistened in Marinette's eyes. "And now I'm going to start crying again. Hormones!"

Alya smiled. Then to lighten the mood, she said, "Girl, you almost make me want to find a man and have a baby!"

Adrien walked in just as Alya was saying that and replied with, "That's good. I have a friend who's been asking me to get him your number."

"Don't listen to him," said Marinette, "Most of his friends now are massive physics nerds."

Adrien went over to the bed and gave his wife a quick kiss. He told her, "I found all the stuff you needed."

"Even the -" she gave him a 'you know what I'm talking about' sort of look.

"Yes."

"Thank you so much! I can't believe I didn't take everyone's advice and buy those before I had the baby."

"No problem. Hey have you told Alya about the plan yet?"

"Not quite. I'm working on it."

Alya watched this exchange and mouthed to Marinette, "Does he know?"

Marinette asked, "What, that I'm Ladybug?"

Alya nodded.

"Of course he does. Which reminds me, I have a hilarious story for you later about what happened when he found out."

Adrien groaned, "Oh no! If you tell her about that, I get to tell her -"

"Don't you dare!" shrieked Marinette, giggling. The noise startled Emma and they all nervously looked at the sleeping baby. After a few minutes passed without her waking up, they breathed a sigh of relief.

"But for now, Alya," Marinette continued at a whisper, "I need your help. I'm thinking maybe an interview as Ladybug, but we change the details enough that maybe - ah I don't know."

Alya considered for a moment. "I have an idea, but you might not like it. Hey Chat?"

"Yeah?" said Adrien. Then he realized what he'd done and covered his mouth with both hands.

Marinette asked, "How did you -"

Alya laughed, "Um, girl, if you're Ladybug, there's no way Chat would be anyone but Adrien."

"Do you think anyone else thinks -"

"No. Well maybe. I don't know. At least half of the Ladyblog followers think LadyNoir is still a thing, even though it's been like six years since anyone has caught them - I mean you two - making out on patrol. Hey - why did you stop doing that? It's not like you broke up."

Adrien explained, "It was Marinette's idea. She figured if one of our identities got out, a public relationship would put the others' identity in danger as well."

"Besides, said Marinette cheekily, "you don't know what we do in costume at home."

Adrien blushed bright red.

Alya chuckled. "Please don't tell me. I have to fight crime with you two, and I don't want to think about - well, that in the middle of a battle." Luckily she had an easy way to change the subject. "Aaaanyyyyway, back to my plan." She looked at Adrien, "How much do you care about your reputation? As Chat, that is?"

"Well, if it helps keep Mari and Emma safe, I'll do just about anything."

"Excellent," said Alya.

Marinette quipped, "I'm nervous about that look in your eye."

"You should be," Alya replied.


	4. My wife is going to kill me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alya's plan. Poor Chat.

"This is Alya Cesaire of the Ladyblog, coming to you live from Ladybug's hospital room." Alya was behind the camera for this interview, with the focus on Ladybug sitting up in bed. The audience could see her face and one shoulder, but the other was covered with a blanket. She was obviously nursing a baby under that blanket. "I've managed to talk her into an interview, because we loyal fans are just dying to know all about her new baby. First things first, what were you thinking during that press conference three days ago?"

"Well, to be honest, for most of the time, I was just thinking, wow, I need to pee. Like, a lot. And the chairs they had us on weren't very comfortable. But really that's just a day in the life of a pregnant lady" she chuckled.

"So then your water broke - we all saw that. What happened next?"

"Well, the team helped me get to the hospital."

"Did you all show up in your uniforms or did you de-transform?"

"I'd rather not go into too many details there. By the way, thank you for agreeing not to reveal which hospital we're at. I don't want to give away anything that could put my identity at risk. I do so much for this city, is it really too much to ask for my son to have a normal life? He can't do that as Ladybug's kid."

"I understand. Can you tell me how your labor went?"

"Well, I actually had a C-section scheduled for next week, so after I got checked in to the hospital, they got me all drugged up and by then my OB had arrived so she went ahead and did the C-section. It was kind of surreal how fast it went."

"Everything went alright, then?"

"Yeah. We're both doing well. I mean, I'm in quite a bit of pain, but that's normal."

"And how is new motherhood?"

"Difficult, but amazing! Right now I just get to snuggle the baby a lot. The nurses here have been super helpful, but we're having a hard time getting my milk to come in. That can happen when you have a c-section, so I've been supplementing with formula. Other than that, this little man is doing-"

She was cut off by a cry from her baby under the blanket. He kept crying as she adjusted something under the blanket before taking him out and holding him to her shoulder, patting his back to burp him. He was wrapped in a second blanket. The only thing visible on camera was one arm and his head, which was covered with thick black hair. "Sh-sh-sh wittle one. Have you got a bubble in your tummy?" She bounced him and patted him, but he just kept crying. "Sorry," she mouthed at the camera.

"Here, let me try," said a voice from off-camera. It was Chat Noir. He reached out for the baby, and the audience could see his head, torso and arms on screen.

"Watch his head," Ladybug said as she gently handed the baby to Chat.

"I know," he assured her. Then, to the baby, "Hey little bug, Daddy's got you. Sh-sh-sh-"

"Chat!" Ladybug exclaimed.

At the same time, Alya asked, "Wait, Chat Noir is the father?!"

"Fu- um this is bad." Chat was obviously panicking. "C-Could you please edit that last part out?"

"I can't. We're live."

"Seriously? My wife is going to kill me!"

"You mean you haven't told her yet?" screeched Ladybug, "I thought you said -"

The baby started to cry harder.

Ladybug turned to Alya, "Turn off that camera. Now! This interview is over!"

The feed on the Ladyblog went black.

In the hospital room, Alya told her friends, "Okay, it's off."

Chat Noir quickly removed the slightly ridiculous black baby wig from Emma's head and she stopped crying almost immediately. "Pound it!" he said, holding out Emma's little fist with one hand while he cradled her in the other arm. Ladybug and Alya completed the three way fist-bump, then everyone busted up laughing.

_Author's Note: Baby wigs are an actual thing. Look them up when you're having a bad day and need a laugh._

_Also, I know I'm probably displaying my ignorance by using my hospital stays after I had my two babies as a reference, since I live in America, but I'm really trying to write a little bit every day, and if I start researching, I can't stop and I end up not writing anything._


End file.
